I haven't written in over a year. So much has happened in the past year and namely, I got married in the fall to R. after 8 years of being together. It was a great wedding, I didn't think we could pull it off but we managed to invite 180 people for dinner, which is pretty good considering our small budget. I got to see people I hadn't seen in a very long time. My little girl got to meet her grandfather (my dad) for the first time, and I saw my dad for the first time in 6 years. It was a very eventful fall.
Then came winter. I turned 28, and Madeleine turned 3 just 3 days ago. And she is going to be a big sister soon... I decided I'd come back to blogging a little because I reread my entry on my first birthing experience seeing as everything seems a big vague now after 3 years, and was glad I had written it down.
Somewhere inside I know that contractions were like having a really bad tummy ache but just rereading what I wrote took me back to that moment a little better. I am nervous again about birthing, though I've already been through it. I know it's common for 2nd births to go faster and I am hoping it does. But there's always that little voice that says, 'What if my 2nd birth is an exception? What if it lasts for hours on end?". I don't really think it will but what if....
Just like my last pregnancy, I was bedridden for a month until 5 days ago. But this time, a midwife came to my home weekly to check on me from 32 weeks to 36 weeks. My cervix was at 2,5 cm at my 3rd ultrasound and that worried the midwives. So just like for Madeleine, I rested up for a month.
I had my 9th month check up the other day and the midwife said my cervix has begun to open up at the bottom. So if everything happened like for the first (which is unlikely but I guess that's the only thing I can base myself on), I'd give birth around the 21st of January.
Went for a stroll downtown today to get maternity bras (that I completely forgot about) and though I was only out for an hour there was just so much pressure on my pubic bone. I don't even know how I managed to walk a whole hour with my last pregnancy the day before birthing. I've been much more fatigued with this pregnancy, mainly because of my right leg, where varicose veins popped out, inhibiting me to stand for more than a minute without a burning sensation. Probably also because I have a 3 year old at home too who, though she has settled down quite a lot since her baby days, still has a LOT of energy. She is anxious about the arrival of this new baby. Clinging to me, wanting to be a baby again, crawling up my shirt, etc.... the ladies at daycare says she will be feeling better when the baby arrives. I hope so. I hope I can meet her needs when that happens...
Will come back to blog another time on cloth diapering soon. I just needed to write a little post to get myself back in the blogging world.